Friday, December 03, 2004
i couldn't put that load off my mind. ) :
i keep thinking of what happened last night.
will someone just slap me to wake me up?
the pain is still there.
the feelings you hide.
i haven't stop daydreaming since i woke up.
whats wrong with me now.
arghs. stab me with the knife now, pleasee.
i wonder what is the thing thats affecting me.
i know it myself, maybe i just don't wanna face reality.
) : hang up on the phone with baby already.
i knew she's fucking tired.
i shouldn't have called. =i swear i ain't happy.
tutor msg me yesterday.
she wants to have tuition.
i don't want. i told her, i'm working currently, very busy. (:
i love my cousin's gf.
she bought me the precious moment box i wanted.
i thought she would have forgotten all about me.
hahahaha, but she didn't!
unlike my cousin, UNTIL NOW, THE FUNKEY STILL WITH HIM. =his daughters, god son and zell got the same toy.
they were like " wah, got new toy. i want to call auntie valerie! "
hahahahaha, excluding me.
yeah, i want to call her.
no, i mean message. (:
zell loves the song " have you ever " by S Club 7.
i love both by S Club and Brandy.
have you ever loved somebody so much that it makes you cry?
i did. i love my gf, my 18.
sorry tears, please go home, i don't wanna cry.
> fucked up !
naive, stupid thinking. i can't prolly think every r/s could be like another. i can't expect every gf of mine to be up to my expectations. this time, i gotta let go a little. give some air to the little butterfly in my clutched hands,i'm gonna let it fly high. i'm gonna let baby have all the freedom she wants. i don't wanna control her. i don't need her to tell me where she's going, where is she, who is she going out with. i don't wanna make her feel so stressed up that the last choice she was left with, was LEAVE. ) : she's no longer grounded. now, little butterfly, go on and fly high. now, i know why jace is stressed up when she's with me and not others. i'm creating fuck for baby. if something bad is so gonna happened to her while running home yesterday, i will never forgive myself. you don't deserve a bad gf like me. after knowing so much, it hurts alot. i couldn't even control those tears. at that point of time, all i needed was you to be here, hug me tight, hold me close to you, never let go, kissing all my pains away, wiping away my tears and say " no worries, daddy's here ". why am i sucha failure. all i wanted was just to make you happy with youre with me. first 5 days, so much happened. we cried, we talk things out. ) : imma bad gf. i bring fuck to people. -SCREAMS- i love you baby. -huggs. everything is fine. i don't know why i couldn't bring myself to voice out what i want to say, thou i was daring enough to say many others. baby i'm sorry. ive disappoint you again and again. je t'aime. wofo aifi nifi. wofo haofao xiangfiang nifi. ifi lovefove youfou. ifi missfiss youfou afalotfot. -hugs tight.
have you ever loved somebody so much it makes you wanna break down and cry?
have you ever loved somebody so much that youre willing to give uo everything for them?
have you ever needed something so bad you can't sleep at night?
have you ever closed youre eyes and dreamed that they were there?
yes, i did. and baby its you.
; stick with you
